apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
