just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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