Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
