You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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