new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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