Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
