I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
