In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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