I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
