I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
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Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.