Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.