my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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