You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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