That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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