Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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