I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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