Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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