you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
