are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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