You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
