i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
