It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
