she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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