dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Text me some of your sweat
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