I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
