"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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