you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
