I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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