wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
