My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
