he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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