did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
