I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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