I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
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