And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
