Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
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This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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