Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
