You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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