drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
