u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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