Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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