YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
