Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
