she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
