So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize