ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it's like iHOP with fire
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
