Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
