She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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