chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
