you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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