Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
