I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
