oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize