What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
