i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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