I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
