He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
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we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
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No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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