hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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