My hair reeks of homosexuality.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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