5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
