i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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