Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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