I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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