So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
