lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
