Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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